When in a “good” mood, rather, when I’m not sobbing hysterically, or typing in order to vent some horrible injustice I think I’ve fallen victim too, I find it really hard to write.
Sure I can write nonsense little nothings about so and so and their baby who lived in a cupboard under the sink (reference to a story I wrote when I was like 7, now I’m realizing how unsafe that is. WOW. )
But I can’t write anything of any copacetic worth, nothing that someone will stop and say “Dang!”. Not that i think that’s happened when I blabbed about my problems anyway. But at least when I was kvetching about my problems, I could tolerate my writing enough to press send. Yes, I have terribly low self esteem that extends to all areas of my life, except for when it comes to working with kids for some reason. That’s the only area in my life where I feel like I do a decent, if not pretty good job. I loved the months I spent volunteering in my church’s nursery, though the stress got to me because of a particularly nasty obsessive bout that lasted about 3 or 4 years.
However, I digress. I have no real direction in which to go in terms of something to write about. Astonishingly I have lost my interest in writing fiction, though I don’t have anything to offer (I think) in terms of non-fiction. Non-Fiction right now would either be me blabbing about myself, what a surprise, or learning more about a topic. though i guess I could do that.
If anyone has any ideas on something non-fiction, or fiction, that they think I should write about, I’d love to hear them.