Just a quick update on how I’ve been doing lately, and about two new diagnoses. I’ve had two appointments with a new therapist (one was just a consultation). I was referred to this new doctor by my psychiatrist who told me that he was a hypnotist. That was not accurate because he does not know hypnotherapy. However, he guides his patients through a deep relaxation method (so that the patient is somewhere between being awake and being asleep.
I engaged in this method during my second appointment. I was fully aware what was going on, but i was very, very, relaxed, and was not in control of my movements.
he addressed my subconscious mind, asking yes or no questions, and without me moving them, either my index or middle finger would move in response to his questions. i do not really remember the questions right now, but when he had me open my eyes again, he had a new diagnosis for me.
Dissociative disorder. This was a disorder that had been shrugged aside by another therapist, though now the symptoms I have make sense. Though when he told me, he did not specify which type i have, there are a few different types. however I can relate to the symptom of feeling detatched from my body, like i’m watching things happen as if i’m in a dream. there are a few other symptoms however though i can’t describe well enough over this post. I also often have a general sense of forgetting where, and sometimes who i am and what i am doing. This disorder is currently thought to be brought on by trauma, where the mind, unable to cope, splits the mind and personality in two, one to absorb the pain, and the other to carry on like normal. according to my doctor this is the best possible response to trauma, because otherwise the person would either go crazy or die.
this is reassuring to me though that what i was experiencing has a name. Though I’m sure different doctors have different perspectives on this diagnosis, this doctor thinks the disorder totally treatable, and not pathological. this is also good news to me.
I also passed a screening test to be diagnosed with ADHD (inactive type). This means basically that I shift from task to task without finishing anything, becoming distracted, getting bored easily, having trouble understanding directions, having little to no organizational skills, and having a realllly hard time not interrupting. also, a habit i notice now as part of ADHD, is that i sometimes get really overwhelmed or excited, and scream in the back of my throat, a really high pitched noise, that really unsettles my parents.
Anyway, i feel good to know that these other seemingly random symptoms actually have a name. My Cymbalta is working really really well, and i have far, far, fewer days where i cannot get out of bed. I am in my second week of college, still polishing up my driving skills so i can take the driver’s test, and doing a bit better at following through on things.
basically, life is good.